The
topic of the day was self-esteem and girls or maybe it was body image and
girls. I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember a number of celebrity guests
on the show discussing girls and body image.
Ten
years ago, I wasn’t a mommy yet, but the issues being discussed were still
relevant and important to me. Especially if I did have a daughter someday,
because I would want to make sure that I was using all the strategies I could
to help her build a strong self-image.
I
wasn’t completely out of touch with the topic, though, because I was teaching
kindergarten and witnessed young girls that passed through my doorway struggle
with self-confidence…and they were just five and six-year-olds.
I
found myself agreeing with the arguments being presented about how the media
gives our young women a false sense of beauty and that our nation of young
girls are suffering poor self-esteem. Then, one celebrity looked into the
camera and with her perfectly red glossed lips said, “It’s not what you look
like on the outside, but what’s on the inside that counts…” (This might not be
a direct quote, but it is a very close approximation to what I remember
hearing). In that moment, I was hit with the thought that I—as a full grown and
mature woman—understood what she was saying, but would a young child
understand? If I were trying to communicate to a young one that she was
beautiful because of what’s on the inside, would she get it?
My
early childhood education brain said to me, “No, she wouldn’t.” A young child’s
concrete-thinking mind would need less of an abstract explanation than, “…it’s
what’s on the inside that matters…”, especially when she’s being inundated with
media and fairytale stories that illustrate beauty with such a strong
connection to outward appearances…the beautiful gowns, the fancy hair-do’s, the
pink lips and delicate fingers, etc.
So,
with a sudden sense of immediacy I reached for a pen and paper to scribe the
first words of Beautiful Me, which I think has had several different
titles since its conception.
At
the time, I did not consider myself a writer and had no idea what to do with
the words I had written. But I felt inspired by the act of writing and tried my
hand at a couple other manuscripts. Life changes quickly came along and put Beautiful Me as well as all other
writing aspirations on hold. All my pages went into a drawer.
I
finally got around to thinking about publishing the book after my first
daughter was born. I started to research publishers and agents and found very
few that published anything like what I was proposing, but I still wanted to
give it a try so I sent out a couple of queries. I got one rejection back and
another non-responder. So, Beautiful Me
hit the drawer again.
Self-doubt
swarmed over me. Who was I to write some words that might help young girls
understand inner beauty? Maybe the idea wasn’t as good as I thought it was. I
let self-doubt’s strong hold take over as more life changes happened, including
the birth of our second daughter.
I
soon realized with two young girls growing and looking to me as a mentor that I
needed to start living my life as an example. And I would never want them to
see me as someone who gave up easily or refused to follow my passions. What was
my passion again? These early years of motherhood can cause a woman to forget
about her passions, because she is so absorbed with caring for precious new
babies, but I kept searching for what to do and at every turn, I came back to
writing. I still had no idea what to do with Beautiful Me, so I jumped into writing novels (I still have no idea
why writing a whole new 70,000 word manuscript seemed like a better idea than
working out the wrinkles of a 250 word manuscript, but I’ve learned to not always
question my instincts and to just go with them.)
Writing
and completing my novels were huge accomplishments and now after
self-publishing both of them, I have moved into a position where I’m ready to
re-examine my children’s book. I’m not only ready to push this book through now
because of my publishing experience, but also because as my husband and I raise
our girls we continue to find ourselves coming back to the foundational
elements of this book as we talk to our girls about their inner beauty.
The
whole book and process has come full circle for me as my little loves took on
their own roles as creators in this project. Something powerful happened while
we sat and talked about the words on the page and as I listened to them talk
out how to illustrate a picture that matched. It was amazing for me to see and
feel their interpretation of inner beauty. Now, more than ever, I want to share
this experience with others.
There
is nothing like Beautiful Me on the
bookshelves. Good sign or bad sign? I don’t know.
Most
books don’t start targeting inner beauty for girls until the teen or ‘tween
ages. And so, I have to ask why aren’t we starting to talk about inner beauty
sooner? If we start sending the message to girls earlier rather than later that
their actions define them more than their appearance, then maybe, just maybe
when they hit those tumultuous teen years they’ll be better armed with a
stronger self-esteem. Maybe?
I
believe it is worth a try…
By
no means am I trying to suggest that if you simply read this book to a young
girl you will combat a low self-esteem later. I wish I could promise that, but
there are so many factors that can and will affect a girl’s image of her body
as she grows. I only hope that Beautiful
Me is one tool people will use to open up the conversation about loving the
goodness and kindness inside one’s heart.
Release
date for Beautiful Me is set for
July….stay tuned for more updates!
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